BACK TO KNITTING

My diet has really taken over my life, so it's no surprise that it's hijacked my blog, too. I've decided to redirect the diet journal elsewhere and get back to what really matters here: knitting, of course. So, if you're interested in the food and the weight loss struggle, please click on the banner above to my newest blogging effort: surviving healthy (dot blogspot dot com). Otherwise, it's back to rabbits, fiber, needles, and patterns (oh my!)

Week Six Weigh-In Day

After a hard week of no cheating and struggling to find food on vacation, then another week of reluctantly getting back into the cooking groove, I just wanted to pat myself on the back a little.

It was miserably hard to go on vacation and not indulge in all the ethnic food I wanted. Vacation, it seems, has always been about eating for me. I know it's going to take time for me to change my outlook that all pleasure (and love) in life comes from food. I've made strides, though I'm still looking at the now empty space that food used to fill and wondering what to stuff in there. Nothing presents itself as of yet. But I have faith--or is that hope?

The end result: I lost a few pounds on vacation and have since lost more (hooray!) so I'm still in the game. Week six begins with a good weigh-in of two pounds lost last week--right on target.

Thanks to fellow foodie and blogger Kalyn (long may she post) I have a handful of new recipes to tackle this week. The theme is turning out to be turkey and soup, a fitting duo to celebrate fall. Now that I'm back in the mountains, the weather's a lot colder and everywhere it's raining leaves. I look forward to the fruits of our local harvest: pumpkin, sweet potato, zucchini. Maybe an apple or two. And wild rice, though I had to order that on the Internet, lol.

I made some egg muffins last night--a SB staple everyone seems to have their own version of. I used diced turkey pepperoni, spinach, mushrooms, green onions, and some low fat cheese in mine, and egg whites instead of whole egg because I had one of those pourable quarts in the fridge. They turned out really well, despite my ailing oven's variable temperature zones. Though I will have to go out and get silicone cups from now on. I sprayed the paper liners dutifully, but they're almost impossible to seperate from the egg muffins without losing a third of the product.

Tonight, it's going to be turkey, mushroom, and wild rice soup. I can't wait! I might even tackle the spicy sweet potato fries I've been dying to try. Yum.

Week Two Coming To A Close

I haven't posted much about the diet this week because I was getting pretty discouraged and found cooking every single meal was driving me nuts. I ended up sleeping more than necessary and often failed to eat that 3rd meal.

I also tried to go out to restaurants to relieve my frustration. I hit Outback twice, a Japanese place once, and a local steak place. With Outback especially, it felt like I was eating two meals at once. Some of you may be horrified that I had a 12oz steak and loved it (grin) but at least the 2nd time I managed to save back a portion of it for my next meal. Outback works great and is easily SB friendly. The Japanese place...suffice to say I won't be going back there anytime soon. I'm not sure if there was a language issue (the waiter's English sounded just fine) or if they just didn't care, but only one of my requests was followed through on. Happily, I did get double vegetables instead of the fried rice but they'd been cooked in oil and a soy sauce that I hoped didn't have sugar in it. The grilled shrimp looked pretty clean of sauces and oils, but tasted fishy and I had a hard time forcing myself to eat it. Normally I love shrimp. It was a big let down. Worse, I didn't even make it halfway home before my stomach started seizing up. So the shrimp was bad in more than taste. That was the final insult to the $23 hit my wallet took on that meal.

Thus, my monthly food budget has taken a severe nose dive. I have a package of lean turkey burgers that taste like cardboard to survive on til I leave for vacation. I have a few more odds and ends, meat-wise, in the freezer that I can scrounge, but I'm going to have to be miraculously creative with that turkey.

I had a recipe for Balsamic Chicken that I wanted to try today. What could it hurt to sub in the turkey burgers instead of the chicken? It wasn't so bad. Much better than plain. But my favorite of the day is the veggie stir fry. I used a steam in the bag frozen pouch of broccoli and cauliflower. While it was cooking in the microwave, I cut up some onion and several slices of 98% fat free bologne. I pan fried the onion and bologne in sesame oil, then added the cooked broccoli and cauliflower. A tiny bit of kosher salt and a good grinding of fresh black pepper and the mix was smelling really good. I added some cheese when I plated it, because the turkey burgers looked so depressing. It was great. In fact, I'm going back to finish off the veggie fry's remains as an early snack.

As for my goals for the week: failure, failure, failure. Though maybe I should qualify that, as my liquid intake has definitely increased and is just about what I'm supposed to be drinking. I drank too much Diet Coke this week, though, an average of two or three cans a day. This is bad because Nutrasweet gives me massive headaches and the sparkling water I drink already has a small amount of acesulfame potassium in it.

I got back into cooking a bit already today. I also went out and got some meal replacement shakes to help with the meal missing problem. I wasn't looking forward to trying them as they have hardly any fat and no sugar, also very low artificial sweetner. I was expecting total grossness, with that chalky or sandy texture, when I had my first one last night. It wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible. No chalk, so sand. It was very much like chocolate milk and the taste wasn't off too badly. Not something I'm going to enjoy drinking, but in emergencies, it'll work. One shake ends up being about a regular mug full of liquid and I can chug it pretty quick. I have to remind myself that I hated the V-8 juice when I first started drinking that and now I kinda like it. I just wish the stuff was cheaper. Though at $5 a four pack, it's still cheaper than the almost $7 low carb Slim Fast alternative. The other option, which comes in vanilla and strawberry too, is the Atkins version. It's the same price, but has a bit more sugar and 4g more fat.

I'm probably going to keep myself on Phase One an extra week, til I leave for Florida. It's going to be a challenge, eating right while away from home (and away from my own kitchen) but I'm going to plan ahead, bring SB friendly food with me--including those meal replacement shakes. I figure that if I always have a zip lock baggie of nuts or turkey pepperoni with me, it'll be enough to get me past whatever difficulty I encounter.

And I will have difficulties. Dad has cheerfully informed me of the Einstein's Bagels and Smoothie King just down the street. Two of my biggest temptations ever. I can handle the bagel thing, but Smoothie King is going to be hard to avoid, especially since it's so hot in Florida. But I'll have a little support, with Dad being there. And I resolve not to go anywhere without a big bottle of sparkling water in the car (or the purse). I'm hoping that I'll be having too much fun to get into much trouble. That, and the outdoor activities should push up my pride for being healthy.

I'll be back again at the start of Week Three and we'll see if I've lost any more weight this week. Have a great weekend, all.

Dani's Shawl

Once upon a time there was a scratchy shawl made of acrylic yarn. The color was right, the stitches were perfect, but the overall impression was of an attic afghan made of cheap yarn. But wait, with a wave of my magic wand, the ugly duckling shawl becomes...

A Beautiful Swan. Can you believe this is the same shawl? Drapey, soft, and light, the lace pattern comes through with distinction.

Before you start googling for fabric magic wands, let me let you in on a secret callled killing. If you apply a lot of heat and hot steam to acrylic, the extruded yarn loses its crimp, gets softer, and becomes oh so drapey.

I made this for my dear friend Danielle who is having her second child any day now. She's been feeling less than lovely in the last stages of her pregnancy and I wanted to remind her how beautiful she is. I picked this color because it reminds me of a favorite shirt she had when we first met, 20 years ago. This almost periwinkle blue was one of her favorite colors back then.

May this shawl surround her with comfort and love, because she's the sister of my heart and I love her dearly.

Week One Comes To A Close

Today marks the end of week one and I'm glad to say I'm halfway there! One more week of phase one to go.

I ended up only eating the one big meal yesterday. I was feeling nauseated at work last night and a little dizzy. Everytime I put a piece of food in my mouth I felt worse, so I just didn't eat anything and instead just drank my sparkling water. So when I got up today, I was starving. I'd have been in trouble except I had something already made. I turned off my crock pot and dished out a big bowl of chili.

I should say that I've always been very proud of my chili recipe and think it's far better than anything in a restaurant. Being in phase one, however, meant my usual chili wasn't going to work. I've always eaten chili over rice with lots of sour cream and cheese. I thought giving up all that was going to make eating chili an unhappy experience. But I was wrong.

I've always been a big fan of Wendy's chili. For fast food, it's a pretty good, reliable staple that's reasonably healthy. I've been eating it for decades. But recently, Wendy's has changed the recipe and the new stuff isn't as good. So went another good thing, I thought. But then I found a recipe online that claimed to be the original Wendy's recipe. It was also phase one friendly, so I tried it. And boy am I glad I have a crock pot full of the stuff. I can't wait for dinner, to have another bowl. I don't miss the sour cream or the rice though I did put a little bit of reduced fat cheese on top. It does have the same taste as Wendy's, but it's a bit chunkier and definitely better. I'll never go back to my old chili recipe, that's for sure.

Better Than Wendy's Chili (South Beach Phase 1)

• 2 lbs 93% lean ground beef
• 25 oz can tomato sauce (NOT spagetti sauce)
• 15 oz can red chili beans
• 15 oz can kidney beans (undrained)
• two 15 oz cans of pinto beans (undrained)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 celery stalk, sliced thinly
• two large, fresh tomatoes, chopped
• 2 teaspoons ground cumin
• 3 teaspoons chili powder
• 2 teaspoons kosher or coarse salt
• 2 cups chicken broth (I like Rachel Ray's in the carton)
• 2 teaspoons fresh ground black pepper

Brown the beef on the stovetop in a non-stick pan so you don't need any additional oil. When done, do not drain the liquid off, just dump the whole thing into the crockpot. Add the rest of the ingredients and stir well so that spices are evenly distributed. Set temperature to low and cook 3 hours.

**This makes a mildy spiced savory chili. If you like yours really spicy, add chopped serrano or habanero chilis and use hot chili powder.**

I have to say this recipe is really indicative of why I don't feel like I'm on a diet, even though I'm on the most restrictive phase of South Beach. My co-workers are always peeking in to see what I've brought to eat every night and they, too, can't believe I'm on a diet. So much of what I read made me think phase one was going to be a scary thing, but it hasn't. The worst of it was switching over from going out to eat all the time to cooking at home instead (and that was the scary part for me). With a little bit of work ahead of time--mostly searching for recipes online--I don't feel deprived or restricted. Maybe even a little bit pampered, since most of these recipes are special dishes, things I wouldn't cook on a regular basis, much less a different one every night.

The thing that kept me sane the most this week: not eating breakfast foods at breakfast. Alot of people complain that the variety at breakfast time in phase one is almost non-existant. Eggs, eggs, and more eggs. I was dreading this because, as much as I love eggs, three days in a row would put me off eggs for quite a while. So I treat breakfast as just another lunch or dinner and that works great for me.

My other big concern was my schedule. I rarely eat a regular 3 meals a day and I certainly don't eat at the time most people do, since I work from 11pm to 7am. So keeping up with a breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, and dessert schedule looked impossible. So I didn't. As long as I eat the amount of food I'm supposed to on a daily basis, I let myself be the judge of when I need to eat instead of putting food in my mouth at alarmed intervals. It works and I am definitely losing weight.

My goals for the coming week:

1. making sure I drink at least 64 oz of water a day (I met that goal only twice this week)
2. taking a good multi-vitamin supplement every day (skipped that this week)
3. adding 45 minutes of aerobic exercise, 3 days a week (due to my extreme lack of fitness, this will be lap swimming in the local pool)

Week One, Day Five

I woke up this morning dragging like a snail and did the one thing you aren't supposed to do: weigh yourself. I steeled myself for being the same weight or even a few pounds heavier (just in case) but got a big surprise. I was ten pounds lighter! I can't tell you how great that makes me feel.

Most people who do the South Beach Diet don't see results that quick or that dramatic. That's because they only need to lose 30 pounds. For those of us enormously overweight, we lose a lot more in the beginning. I experienced the same thing on Atkins, ten years ago. It's like a consolation prize since we have so much farther to go than you light weights (smile).

I had a bit of a bad day yesterday, eating only a meal and a snack before going off for what I thought was a nap which turned into sleeping til the next day. So today's start was a little rocky. Oddly enough, I was really not hungry when I woke and the idea of cooking was just revolting. I ended up puttering around the house and getting some chores done (including chopping up some veggies and putting them in the crock pot to cook while I was gone). I finally left the house at 1:30, off to the grocery store to grab a few items, and decided I deserved a treat. I'd reward myself with steak.

I was a little nervous, not knowing exactly where I'd have the best luck with my dietary restrictions (my small town is pretty limited in restaurants) but settled on Ruby Tuesday. They're usually really expensive, but it turned out to be a good choice. The waitress was really great and understanding, making sure my side of broccoli, for example, wasn't cooked with any butter, that no added oils were used with the steak, etc. She even came out and handed me a photocopy of their "healthy choices" menu with all the nutritional info about each of the featured dishes. Very sweet.

For my salad, I had peas, edame (green soybeans), a little parmesan, and a generous sprinkling of ham over my romaine lettuce, topping it all off with a little balsamic vinagrette. My entree was top round steak with a side of broccoli and mashed cauliflower (a little overwhelmingly garlicky). I happily sucked down 3 Diet Cokes (probably too much) and for dessert, I had a stick of sugarless gum. It was a lot of food but I was really, really hungry by that point. And being waited on, not having to eat my own cooking, was such a wonderful luxury. It was worth the $22.

In a blissful mood after my meal, I went to Walmart and was informed by a helpful stranger about the sudden run on gas that's going on, apparently, in this area. Sure enough, there were huge lines for each pump, stretching out 7 and 8 cars long. And the price had jumped from yesterday's $3.51 to a whopping $3.95. It reminded me of the 70's, when I was a kid, and gas rationing was in effect. Not a good sight. I got in line and by the time I got to the pump, the station was totally out of midgrade and premium. This is Walmart, mind, not a tiny station. It was scary. So I filled my tank with regular, got my groceries, and headed home. I saw four other stations on my way with signs that they were completely out of gas. They were all over $4 a gallon, too. People are crazy. Although, it's gas companies that will use any excuse to cause a sudden price inflation, the crooks!

Still, ten pounds down for the week, more food cooking as we speak (chili) and plenty of stuff in the fridge to make a work dinner a quick and easy assembly. It's raining again (we can certainly use it) and Dad's bunny Ivan is demanding attention (or else: destruction). A great day to all my fellow dieters: you can do it!

Japanese Cucumber Salad (South Beach Phase 1)

Traditionally, this is made with just cucumbers, but I love to add fresh tomatoes and green onion as well. It seems to make the dish that much tastier.

Ingredients:

1 large or 2 small cucumbers, peeled and sliced
2 roma or plum tomatos, diced
2 green onions, sliced fine
1 tsp (3 single serve packets) Splenda
2 teaspoons sesame oil (do not substitute another oil)
3 tablespoons rice vinegar (not the seasoned kind)


Combine cucumbers, green onions, and tomatoes in a bowl. In a coffee mug or small glass, mix the Splenda, sesame oil, and rice vinegar together very well. Pour over salad. You can eat right away, but flavor intensifies the longer it sits (for some of us, that's a good thing). Serve cold. Keeps several days to a week in the fridge.

Cajun Turky Roll-ups (South Beach Phase 1)

One of my new favorites, this is fast and savory. Eat it cold or grill it in a pan for more flavor, either way it's a dish all phases of the South Beach Diet can enjoy.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 to 2 pounds Sara Lee Cajun Turkey (from the deli), sliced thin
16oz low fat Ricotta cheese
1 handful of Romano or Parmesan cheese
2 wedges Laughing Cow Lite Cheese, Garlic and Herb flavor
2 teaspoons (or to taste) chili powder
1-2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh ground black pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh minced parsley
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh minced basil

Drain the Ricotta, if necessary, to get rid of excess liquid. Add in everything but the turkey and mix well. Refridgerate minimum of 2 hours to combine flavors (or, if you're hungry and impatient, skip this step).

Lay out a slice of turkey. Thinly spread a layer of the ricotta mix on top. Roll up. Set aside. Repeat until you run out of turkey or ricotta. Eat cold or, optionally, secure roll up with toothpick, add a little oil to a pan, and fry the turkey rolls just until they are hot or the filling starts to ooze out.

Cooking for one? Cut the lunch meat down to a 1/4 pound and freeze the rest of the ricotta mix. It's a great staple to have on hand. It's also great for parties.

Week One, Day Four

I'm starting to get seriously sick of deviled eggs. They're just so easy to make! After a long morning, I have another tray of them in the fridge. Of course, a few of them made their way into my tummy, because cooking is hard work. I also have the ricotta herb stuffing ready for my tiny little cherry tomatoes. My ground beef for "just like Wendy's" chili is defrosted, ready to brown. I've already used up half of my small cold cut ration for breakfast. And I am nowhere near preparations for the other foods I've got to cook today.

(Big Yawn) It's always a bad idea to work all night and then think you can stay up and cook the whole day away. There's nothing good on tv during the daytime, for one. I've already learned the hard way that I can either listen to an audio book on my iPod or I can chop veggies. For some reason, I can't concentrate on both at the same time. Happily, few veggies were damaged by my gushing finger--no, just joking. Me and my fingers are fine. But I'm craving some kind of distraction. Um.. kind of like sleep. I'm also out of room in the fridge.

But I digress. It should be disturbing how much like a diet this whole process ISN'T. Which must mean that I've always been somewhat helpless about feeding myself consistently, without the help of a menu and a kitchen staff. Still, I think I'm coping ok.

Take last night for example. I overslept. In a big way. I woke up, got myself un-disoriented, looked at the clock and realized with total panic that I only had an hour and a half to feed myself, make dinner for work, provision the rabbits, and take a shower. How was this possible? I had luck on my side. I'd put some thin cut steaks in the fridge that morning to thaw and I also found the leftover veggie salad from the day before. My Dad has one of those tiny little George Foreman grills that everyone demeans (until it actually comes in handy) which heats up in 30 seconds. In literally 5 minutes, I had two steaks on my plate. All I did was take the jarred minced garlic (talk about staples) out of the fridge and spread it with a little cracked pepper, a dash of kosher salt, on the mostly defrosted meat. Because the grill cooks both sides at once, I didn't even have to turn it. From ziplock to table. And it was pretty good. I put a tablespoon of blue cheese dressing on my cukes and tomatoes and pulled a sparkling flavored water (no cals) from the cooler. By the time Law and Order was just starting up it's 9pm rerun, I was about done with dinner.

While showering, I ran over possible options to make for work dinner. They weren't good. Oh, I had raw materials aplenty, but nothing that could be assembled fast. Then, inspiration hit. South Beach makes frozen dinners that, if rather tasteless, are still Phase 1 acceptable. And there was a grocery store on the way to work. Saved! I got Caprese Chicken, which is chicken tenders covered with some sort of tomato-like sauce and a small bit of micro fat cheese with a side of broccoli. The store also had deviled eggs in the deli section, an unexpected bonus. Technically, I shouldn't have gotten those (not the right type of mayo and sure to have a small bit of sugar in it) but desperation does not lend itself to nitpickyness. I also had two cups of sugar free jello (black cherry flavor--pretty good) for dessert. More no cal flavored water--the remains of what was left from dinner and only a few sips of a new bottle (did very poorly at water drinking yesterday) finished off that meal. I did get that feeling of wanting something more around 4am. Thankfully I remembered, dug for, and found a jar of South Beach Planter's Diet Nut mix which did the trick.

Today, I have a lot more cooking to do so I have ready made and waiting choices for the next three days. On the agenda: chili, cauliflower soup, strawberry chiffon (a dessert), stuffed cherry tomatos, and stuffed mushrooms. I also made another batch of what's turning out to be my favorite thing on the diet so far: Japanese Cucumber Salad. Sadly, I ate half of it, along with my cold cut roll-ups, for breakfast. I just can't keep the stuff in the fridge.

Another two days successfully negotiated.

It's suddenly thundering outside and threatening an afternoon shower. A good excuse to nap. I'll post my two favorite recipes before I head off. But before I go, a bit of hope. I read online that after 2 weeks of phase 1, a person can definitely see a difference in their face and torso. Maybe not a dramatic difference, but definite, I-am-not-imagining-this difference. It's part of what keeps me going!

Snorkeling Reward

In two weeks, this is going to be me!!

Ever since the family trip was canceled (due to Dad's sudden romance and now impending marriage), I knew I had about 7 days of vacation time that was expiring the first week in October. Use it or lose it was the only choice. Happily, my soon-to-be-mom lives in Florida and has generously offered the use of her guest room. So in two weeks, I'm off to Florida.

Two or three of those days are going to be spent in the Keys, learning to snorkel. I'm so excited, it's hard to sit still. I haven't been to the beach since college--yikes, that's something like 20 years ago. I'll probably come back looking like a boiled lobster because even with sunscreen, I burn (part of the trade off of being a third shift vampire, rarely seeing the sun. Or so I'm told.) I'd like to see if I can do a little scuba diving, too, if the cost isn't too severe.

I'll be driving down Alligator Alley and spending a few hours in Everglades National Park before stopping in Key Largo. Then it's on to John Pennecamp's world famous natural reef and wildlife sanctuary. I'm just hoping the weather cooperates and a hurricane doesn't ruin my plans. I might even be able to stop and see St. Augustine on the way home. But I might skip that in favor of a visit to the Dolphin Research Center instead.

Talk about a great finale to the end of Phase One..

Week One, Day Two

It's been a rocky beginning so far. Not so much adhering to the diet's restrictions but the work and the cost required to change gears and commit to eating this way. I have friends who will snicker at this point (you uber homemakers know who you are) because if there's one thing that's always been true about my life it is this: I can handle almost anything outside the home but housework and domestic goddess stuff is mostly beyond my capabilities. At least, it is from a June Cleaver standpoint.

Like many ADD'ers, it takes me twice the time and triple the effort to do the same thing the average person does without thinking. Like grocery shopping or preparing a meal. Oh, I can cook and I do that very well, but making one dish is different than orchestrating a meal. I remember all the times, growing up, when Mom and I used to eat our meals in stages, according to whatever came off the stove first. If the potatoes were done, we ate that. When the roast came out of the oven, we ate that. And so with the green beans and the salad that usually came last because Mom forgot about it sitting in the fridge until she started to put the leftovers away. I thought that kind of thing was wildly exotic and wonderful. Not so anymore. It really is a complex dance of organization, making the meat, the veggies, the salad and the starch all come out together (and still hot). I just find it mind boggling and exhausting.

To prepare for my first week, I wrote out a meal planner to cover all the breakfasts, lunches, dinners, snacks and desserts for 6 days. Once I had that, I made a list to put on the fridge detailing the options I could choose to make, each day. Then I cleaned out the fridge and the freezer, even the cupboards, of non-productive and temptation food. I checked my staples and made a list of grocery items I needed. That took 2 days. Then I went grocery shopping and got most of the items on my list. Three hours later, and $142 lighter, I dragged myself home in a state of sticker shock. I don't ever think I've spent that much on groceries at any one time. It was nerve wracking. What have I done? I can't afford this diet!

So today I settled into the notion that I have to take the time to prepare everything I want to eat. No short cuts. No restaurants or fast food drive thrus. Somehow, I have to live without Taco Bell. And it's not that I mind the cooking and prepping. It's just that it takes sooo looong. Make something, wash the dishes, make something else, more dishes. When do I actually get to eat?

And then there's the question of schedule. I'm a third shifter. I go to work at 10pm and get off at 7am. I don't eat breakfast when I come home, I stagger to bed and collapse. My schedule isn't exactly normal, so I have to restructure my eating times to include 3 meals, 2 snacks, and one dessert. Sigh. That usually means eating breakfast at dinner time and squeezing in a snack while trying to cook the two meals, snack, and dessert I'm supposed to eat during work.

I ended up making a good amount of the dishes for a main meal and eating on that same thing all day. Today's was Indonesian Beef Patties with peanut butter on top, Japanese cucumber salad (really yummy!), and deviled eggs. The meat wasn't spiced strongly enough for me to taste it and so I found the patties quite bland and unappetizing. But the other two items are tasty and, in the case of the cucumbers, are all gone. Still have several deviled eggs left to carry into tomorrow (yeah!). I had my cup of
V-8 and some nuts as my first snack and some cheese and a sugar free jello as the later snack. I'll have my cup of milk when I get home in the morning. As for my water intake, I only hit 45oz instead of 64. Hope to improve on that tomorrow.

So far, no cheating whatsoever. My only problem is an aweful Nutrasweet headache. I got it within 2 swallows of the sugar free Ocean Spray Cran-Grape drink. Ugh. And I even watered the stuff down quite a bit. Have to declare that stuff off limits and stick to plain water. Used Splenda twice today and had no problems, though, so at least there is some recourse. Hopefully phase one will go quickly and I can be onto phase two with a lot more choices and flexability. I'll keep everyone posted.

Turning 40

It's still half a year away, the big 4-0, but I know I have to do something special, something memorable. How about losing 140 pounds and going to Hawaii? Yeah, 140 pounds. It's hard to believe I am that much overweight, but I am. It's taken 2 decades to get here but the day has come and I can't let more time go by without changing this.. permanently. So, if I want that dream vacation, if I want to learn to snorkel and kite board and surf (and I do!), then South Beach is gonna have to be my method for getting there.

Temporarily, at least, this blog is going to detour a bit and chronicle my journey.

This week: cleaning out the fridge, freezer, and cupboards of not SBD friendly food. Come Monday: I start Phase 1. Stay tuned for all the (scary) details.

The Wonderful World of Bento

Oyaki, omabushi, and furokike, oh my! I'm in love with Bento!

If you haven't tried it, let me give you a quick run-through of what to expect. Traditionally, these are lunchbox type meals eaten at room temperature. They are very tightly packed in tiered containers with a wide variety of tidbits which usually follow a 3:2:1 ratio of rice, veggies, and meat.

Since bento traces its origins back to Edo-era Japan, the contents are usually Japanese. But why stick to tradition? Bento boxes can be packed with any type of food. And you don't have to stick to the 3:2:1 ratio, either. The only hard and fast rule with bento is the packing. Every tiny bit of space is used, so that food does not shift around. And there are all sorts of tools and tricks for keeping food separate, so you don't have to worry that your jello is going to mix with your potato salad (ick!).

For many mothers (not just Japanese ones) bento is more than just a way to ensure children eat healthy meals. It's a way to get kids excited about healthy options by making food look appealing and fun. Hey, if the big corporations do it for junk food, we oughta be able to turn the tables using their own tactics, right? Let me give you some examples:

I like the salad monster, but I think the hotdog fish are my favorite. The 'net is full of examples that are far more elaborate than this, but you get the idea. Not just for kids, adults can also harbor a secret desire to have fun and play with their food. Bento gives you so many options to be creative and encourages you to eat healthy portions too.

And speaking of creative, many of you know that I'm sensitive to carbs (though I love 'em!). Bento--no surprise considering its origin-- is very rice-centric, which can cause difficulties for the carb conscious. One solution is to turn the 3:2:1 ratio on its head, putting meat first. Another solution is to get replace white rice with brown rice. But it's important to pick the RIGHT brown rice, a variety that's tasty and has all the properties of traditional sticky rice. I use Lundberg short grain brown rice and, if I cook it right (use a 1:3 rice to water mix and steam for at least 45 min), there's no trade-offs.

Enter my new favorite snack: brown rice onigiri. Cook some brown rice using the method I just mentioned. While it's cooking, take 2 slices of bologne (I use the light variety) and a handful of green onion tops. Slice both of them into very small pieces and toss in a pan over medium heat. What you're doing is drying out the onion and browning the bologne, which leeches out the fat and enhances the flavor. After 6-7 minutes of stirring, take it off the heat and wait for your rice to finish. Fluff the rice and add the bologne and green onion. Mix.

To shape this mixed onigiri, put a square of plastic wrap in a small bowl. Spoon half a fist of the rice mixture into the plastic wrap, gather the corners, twist tightly so that all the air is out, and push the rice into a triangular shape. Or, since you've already done the unthinkable (the bologne) forget about shaping. Odd roundish lumps eat just as good as pretty perfect triangles. So, whether you've shaped or not, stick the plastic wrapped onigiri in a ziplock and put it in the fridge. If yours lasts more than 3 days, freeze the leftovers. Mine rarely makes it past the next day's lunch. It's nutty, it's salty, it's oniony. Dip in soy sauce or teriyaki or even chili sauce if you're so inclined. And don't be afraid to add different and crazy ingredients. Being crazy is part of being gaijin!

Star Visits Aunty P

Last week Star travelled all the way to Michigan to visit her favorite aunty. Mommy and Gpa rented a shiny, new, red Chevy HHR and made the trip all in one (long) day. Being a (very) unusual rabbit, Star enjoyed the drive. She traveled in pampered luxury, as usual. The carry-cabin was lined with two virgin towels, just waiting to be deconstructed by eager bunny teeth. A large pile of pre-trip h'ordeurves from the garden filled the empty spot in Star's tummy. That and the irresistable combination of cold a/c and human conversation lulled her into sleeping most of the journey. When she was awake, the lure of towel deconstruction and occasional tidbits of papaya ensured a pleasant demeanor on arrival.

Aunty generously gave up her guest bathroom for Star's use and, though mommy invaded to use the toilet and shower occasionally, it wasn't long before Star relaxed into her new home away from home. Aunty's adoring compliments and ear-nose-cheek pets certainly helped, too.

The day of departure came way too soon! Star sadly waved goodbye to the endless banquet of dandelion greens, curly endive, and mint bouquets which seem only to be found in Michigan :( Gpa was happy to be getting home and mommy was teary but everything went smoothly and by the time she got back to her own house, Star was bleary-eyed and yawning.

"There is nothing like one's own hay" Star said to her mommy as she dived into a large pile of it before falling asleep with a big mouthful, half chewed.

We miss you already, Aunty!

Star Discovers Cocktails

Star would argue with me about this, but cocktails are not bunny appropriate. Even ones with mango in them. So what is a loving bunny mom to do when her precious is biting her ankles, trying to get her paws on the lovely fruity smelling concoction in mommy's hands? One option would be to shriek and run, of course. But no. Martha's Law is: always be prepared with an over the top solution. So here's mine: Star's Guide to Partying Under the Stars (umbrella optional, but tasty).

Day One: Cocktails at Seven

Hoomans are not the only party species. We rabbits can show dem a thing or two bout fun! But makes sure to hab your hooman help you with dese ingredients, so de hooman does not feel left out.

Assemble de following:

• ice coob trays
• quality baby food, fruit flavor of your choice (I find MANGO to be indespensble)
• bottled spring water, the fancier da better

First, put the baby food in a glass or bowl. Add spring water so the baby food is well diluted but still colorful. Mix very well and pour into de ice coob trays. Fweeze.

Tip: if you hab a weally indulgent mommy like I do, she will layer different flavors in the same tray. She does dis by filling the coobs only a third full, fweezing them, adding another layer, fweezing that, and adding a final layer and fweezing that. But I do not expect your hoomans to be as firmly under your paws as my mommy is, so do not expect this.

Some bunnies are not sofishticated enuf to be trusted with a cocktail glass. If you are one of those bunnies, ask your hooman for a cocktail bowl instead, of cut glass or fine crystal. Put a couple of coobes in your bowl and do not forget to garnish your cocktail appropwiately. Cilantro is nice. So are baby carrots and baby bok choy. Umbrellas are colorful and have a nice crunch but make sure your hooman spears something tasty with them.

Stay tuned, fellow housebuns, for more partying tips from moi, Star! Right now, I have a mango cocktail requiring my utmost attenshion.

Culinary Mania

I blame this guy. Shark's head, she-crab, squeegle (hold the spines) man-about-world going all the places I can't go. I won't mention the food. It's far more fun to watch him eat it. Or drink it. But it's all his fault that Dad has been eating like a king this week while my house lies in messy piles of undone lassitude.

I'm not really complaining. I hate housework. Cooking is far more fun. And it's a great way to lose weight. I expend all my creative culinary mania in the kitchen and by the time dinner is actually ready, I'm tired and nibbly instead of ravenous. Genius!

So far this week Dad and John-at-work have dined on:

• Biltmore Pasta Salad
• Rotini with Pink Pesto and Meatballs
• Pork Sung Sesame Pockets with Asian Noodle Bowl
• Fried Green Tomatoes with Sausage Gravy
• Shrimp and Cheese Grits, Louisiana Style
• Ambrosia Salad

Not to mention the bread machine efforts. My first loaf turned out perfect because Danielle convinced me to use a mix. I doctored it, of course, adding a pile of herbs that looked suspiciously like lawn clippings but the bread turned out very yummy and intensely fragrant.

An amazing thing happened when I took the first loaf out of the machine. A short but demanding line of people turned up wanting me to make loaves for them. Huh. Make dough and they will come? Which is why my entire day off suddenly turned into baking day. I'm gonna have to start charging people. Just taking out the Dill Bread now (no mix this time, hooray!) and starting the Pumpkin Bread in a few minutes.

This weekend, I have a green tomatilla chili I want to try. I wonder if I could scoop out a couple of local tomatoes, stuff the chili inside, sprinkle a bit of cheese and cornmeal on top and bake them?

Ah, summer. I distinctly remember wishing for your arrival with great desperation, when bitter white stuff covered the ground and the sky was always stormy grey. What was I thinking?!

I hate summer. Well, maybe hate is too strong a word (nope). After all, the average American equates a lot of positive images with the season, such as parties, vacation, swimming, more parties, working on a tan, being out of school, enjoying the great outdoors. And these are great things to be sure, but they always seem to fall far short of my expectations. And then there's the weather. Yes, warmth is nice. Warmth as in 70 degrees. But summer isn't warm, it's hot. Scorchingly hot and depressingly bright. Where does all that stupid sunshine come from and how come it has to hurt so much?
It's too hot to do anything without air conditioning. And the longer this summer thing goes on, the more I want to find a cool dark cave, crawl in, and never come out.

In the meantime, I have started watching Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel. No Reservations has become my new favorite show, almost an obssession really. After all, what's not to die for? Exotic food, exotic locales, and a level of grumpy cynicism that feels as comfortable as your favorite chair. I like this guy and I'd have a ball following him around. He's like a cuter, hip-er, nicer version of my stupid brother. I wonder if I can get the two to switch places...

I have to admit, it's hard to decide which of Bourdain's subjects is more stimulating: the food or the travel. The landscape of my own freezer is just so barren in comparison. Figuring out what to do for lunch after watching Tony eat his way through Rajasthan can be a nightmare of frustration and thwarted desire. Now that I'm obviously doomed to culinary oblivion for the forseeable future, my foray into a possible pasta salad for dinner just doesn't hold the appeal it once did.

I suppose it could be worse. I just couldn't handle a similar show with a textile arts theme. Traveling to exotic locales, eating exotic food, and discovering native exotic fibers (and the crafts that go with them)... well, that would be something too intense for me to handle. Though if ol' Tony needs a sidekick, my bags are already packed.

Wrapped In Snow

Fiona Apple is sashaying her smoky way from my speakers while outside the world is full of snow, snow, snow! It's a wonderful time for sleeping and I am sending longing glances toward the bedroom door. Anticipation of a toasty, snuggly day. Poor cats are clumped around the radiator in the porch, keeping company with a sleepy Star who is making barely audible whuffly sounds as she dreams. No doubt she is hunting giant carrots among the stars. Ever wonder what our bunnies dream of?

The right front of Danielle's baby's Kimono Sweater is starting to take shape on my needles. It's required quite some mathematical calculations already but seems to be working out to the pattern's dimensions. I'm going to have to reknit the left front as the width is wrong, but so it goes. It's looking stunning in the variegated blues and teals of K1C2's Wick yarn. It was snaggy at first but once knitted, the soy fiber is smooth and soft under my fingers. If I have enough yarn left over, I hope to make a matching beanie.

Not sure what the rest of the day will bring, as it keeps snowing. We never see snow this far south and with at least 6 inches so far, our little microcosm has come to a standstill.

I was at it early this morning, sweeping Dad's walk with an old sponge mop in lieu of a snowshovel. The two of us went out for a late breakfast of omelets and bisquits and gravy at the local gas station. The grill girls at DJs have husbands with snowplows so they made it into work when nearly everyone else from here to town are still stuck in their beds. Exhibiting unusual foresight, Dad picked up a can of sauerkraut and a package of hot dogs to fortify him in case we get snowed in. I got orange juice because, after all, going hungry is preferable to dying of thirst. And I have plenty of microwave popcorn in either case.

I didn't think we'd be able to get back home, or down our hill, but we did. Dropped Dad off (with his sauerkraut) and slogged to my front door. I came into the porch like an overburdened snow monster, scattering weirded out cats in all directions. And where did I head first? My computer. My lifeline. I sat down for an episode of Enterprise before bed and fumbled around for my knitting, but alas, I left the knitting in the car (drat). So here I am, blogging, instead.

I did buy another fountain pen. If it's only $10, does it count as a sin? Let's just keep this between ourselves. I need to confine myself to only buying ink from now on. Promise.

Time for me to give into the promise of that heating blanket on my bed and what dreams may come. Giant carrots perhaps. Among the stars.

Congratulations, Danielle

Yeah! A new Fennell is on the way! And I've been amusing myself with hunting for baby knits to make in preparation for the big day. I found a beautiful baby kimono top that I will be starting tonight. Not knowing whether it's going to be a boy or girl... at least this style works equally well for both sexes. I picked a medium blue color that, if it's a girl, I can add some embroidered flowers to later. The yarn is a mix of Pima cotton and Modal, making it soft and easy to care for. It can be worn alone as a top or layered over a onesie as a sweater. I saw a finished example and couldn't resist. Check out the pattern link to your left, under the In Progress column, for a pic.

Old Obsessions

Twenty years ago, I used my first fountain pen. It was as if I'd discovered the wheel. Being 18, with all the gawky naivete of the newly liberated collegiate, I thought I had become the ultimate worldly wise connoiseur. No kiddie Bics or clicky geek pencils for me, oh no. I was a real writer with a professional writing tool that made even frantic note-taking pleasurable. I used ink. From a bottle (really, from a little plastic cylinder, but let's not ruin the image here). I had found mystique.

What I eventually found was fountain pens leak. And when they do, mystique quickly vanishes in a haze of stained clothes and fingers. Yuck. Humiliating. After buying and tossing too many short lived Parker Vectors, I felt like I'd found the love of my life and been dumped by him, repeatedly. Weekly, even. And how much "starting over" can one girl do before her heart becomes irrevocably damaged?

With great reluctance, I buried my broken heart in felt tips and rollerballs and eventually forgot that the world had been different for one glorious season.

My pen fetish has never left me and, though my preferred tool these days is the old geeky clicker (.5 lead only, non of that fat .7 stuff thank-you-very-much), history has the tendency to repeat itself. Yes, the wheel and I discovered each other again and renewed our love affair. Time apart (not to mention the advent of the Internet) has greatly improved my chances that this time, finally, the fountain pen is here to stay.

My natural obsessive tendencies have been going into overtime, however, and for the last two weeks I have been dreaming--yes, dreaming--of fountain pens every time I close my eyes. Maybe it's being older, maybe it's being single, or maybe it's just a natural consequence of me being me (insufferable yet delightfully unique and often bored). Personally, I blame the Internet and all the crackpots with bizarre interests who find each other and create mailing lists to draw in other crackpots, so we can perpetuate our crackpottyness. Just a thought.

I now own an unassuming black and silver fountain pen of Chinese-German parentage that sits in my pen cup eagerly awaiting the bottle of ink that will bring it to life. The ink in question is no ordinary ink, of course (where would the fun be if I started this off with ordinary?). No, the ink has to be archival quality, mechanically lubricating, waterproof, fadeproof, and otherwise so amazing it's called "bulletproof". Bright green, because I feel guilty and plebian for wanting miracle ink to be boring black.

While waiting for the miracle ink, I have sudden doubts. What if I want to use this pen at work? What if I run out of ink? I can't pack an inkwell next to my laptop--that's just asking for the gods of Murphy to smite me... and my precious laptop. Oh no, how could I possible buy into a miraculous pen that I can only use at home?

(Wait for it now. Wait. Wait. Ah, yes, here it comes--)

I have to get another pen! One that uses cartridges that are portable. Well done self, yes, brilliant solution! So I buy another pen. And, while sitting back happily, a niggling thought suddenly burrows into my brain--um, I don't have any cartridges. Crap. So, I gotta buy cartridges. Ok, I can do that, but only after another 3 days agonizing over color choices (it just doesn't seem right to get black, though I'd like black, but after using the miracle green ink, I'd hate to be stuck with black...) And, well, if I'm already paying for shipping and handling and, well, to make a long story short (hah!), I now have:

1 pen of Chinese-German parentage
1 cartridge using German Pelikan pen
1 bottle of miracle ink (Noodler's Eel in Cactus Gruene)
1 crept in to my shopping cart when I wasn't looking pen (Hero 110)
1 bottle of Private Reserve Chocolat ink
12 cartridges of PR Burgundy Mist

and

a burning desire to aquire two other to-die-for inks: one mercurichrome colored Dragon's Napalm, the other Dumas' Tulip Noire.

It all just goes to prove the old adage that old obsessions never truly fade away and are just as likely to come round again for another bite in the derriere of "older and wiser". So be it. Anything that helps me write and finish that book of mine... but more about that on my other blog.

Saddest Month Ever

It's still hard, trying to get used to being a single bunny Mom. It's been almost three months since my darling boy Licorice passed on. Star bounced back pretty quickly from the loss, with the help of Nut Brown Hare (a stuffed bunny from Kohl's For Kids that's nearly the same size as she is) who sits by her cage to keep her company day in, day out. I still catch myself talking about "the buns" rather than just Star. I always knew Licorice was very precious but I'm still surprised how deep and sore a hole his passing has torn in my heart. I'm so lucky that Star is still here, healthy, happy (can we say even more spoiled than ever?!) and as energetic as always.

We all mourn in different ways, and my way of working through all the grief that still lingers is knitting a big stuffed bunny that (hopefully) will look like my boy. I've finished the head, body, and one arm. Two legs, another arm, and two big floppy ears are yet to go. And I ran out of yarn. I had double the stated amount and I've still run out. Life's just like that sometimes. Must've been the mistakes I made and the flailing around I did to correct them (no, not mistakes--pattern tweaking--yeah, that's it). So I had to do some scrambling. I originally couldn't find any yarn that I liked, so I took two different yarns and combined them into one twisting strand, then balled that. I remembered the base yarn was Caron's Bliss in black but the second yarn was a very soft eyelash yarn that I have no idea... just that I got them both at Joann's. Not having the money to spend on gas to get to my nearest Joann's (a 2 hour drive one way), I went to Hobby Lobby and got lucky with finding a single yarn that was almost the exact match of the two I combined together.

Must add that I have, for a long time now, become a yarn snob. It pains me to even walk into Joann or Hobby Lobby for knitting yarn. Why would anyone buy this commercial junk when they can get gorgeous high end stuff on line for the same price or near enough? Slap me for being elitist. Giggle. Actually, Joann's yarns are pretty cool and definitely have their uses. My real gripe is their lack of any decent knitting needles, since I loathe plastic or disco colored aluminum. They used to have a decent Joann brand of coated needle that was on par or better than my favorite Inox brand with a much lower price tag, but they have since disappeared. It also seems that my Joann thinks knitting involves only needles of 9 and higher because try to get anything under a size 8 and you won't find any. Any at all. If you like to knit socks, Joann has neither needles nor yarn for you, you bizarre knitting rebel you. But let me kick over that soapbox and get back to the topic at hand.

So, I am knitting on my black bunny periodically, usually when I am feeling mopiest. It's not a yarn that you can really see the stitches or hope to do much with unless you are really concentrating, so other projects are getting some more attention when I am in front of the tv (my fav way to knit). Will post pics soon.

I am not alone, I know. The bunny I am closest in the world to, next to my Star, is Patricia's Ivy, who has also just died. Equally suddenly and out of the blue, her heart just stopped. She was at the vets and all that could be done to resuscitate was done, to no avail. Pet deaths are hard enough when you know they are coming but when they just occur without warning...

To top things off, another of my dear friends is going through a rough separation and divorce. Seems everyone I love is miserable and depressed of late. Ever notice that January is like that? The worst month of the year. It makes being far away from my friends and unable to visit (that gas $$ thing again) even worse.

I need some yarn therapy!!

Off to go do some of that... got a bin of unfinished projects to go nosing through but I'll be back again in a few days with pictures.